The First of Many Visits

I was so nervous for him to come. I was cleaning and organizing and re-cleaning and reorganizing. My boyfriend, a returned missionary, who I was totally in love with was coming to my home town and staying with my family. I couldn't even wait. We talked on the phone most of the time he was on his way. I answered the door, and there he was, right in time for dinner. I was so excited. He came in, sat down, and the fun began.

No one said ANYTHING! I take complete blame for this. My family is a constant girl party/giggle fest. The dinner table is where we laugh and talk and try to get a word in, but I was so nervous! I didn't say a word. I never realized how noisy our plates are, but you could hear them loud and clear! My dad did his usual ask a million questions game, which Landon answered well. My favorite was when my dad asked if he had pioneer ancestry, yup, it was just that awkward. Landon response, "Yeah, my mom's maiden name is Smith." This sent us all in a fit of giggles which only intensified the awkwardness.

*Kathryn Albertson Park*

That night I showed him all around my hometown. We checked out BoDo (Boise Downtown) and Albertson's Park which is just a gorgeous place and perfect for long, romantic walks. (Albertsons was started in Boise, so they donate to a LOT of public things, like parks). It was so a blast to show him my favorite places and just be together again. We had only been apart for a week, but compared to being together everyday before, I just missed him.

By far, the most memorable moment came from my mother, who I love dearly. Somehow, someway, Landon, my mom, and I were in the family room chatting. And somehow, someway, my mom started telling a story about when we were just barely moved into the house we now live in. The house next door was being built, and she began to explain, in detail, about how one day she was taking a shower in her bathroom. The shower has a glass door, and there is a window near the ceiling. As she came out of the shower one day, in all her glory, she looked up to see a ROOFER looking at her from the neighbor's house through her window! She told us how embarrassed she was and on and on. All I could think about was how embarrassed I WAS that we somehow got to this story. We now laugh about it every time we get together. I live for little moments....like that.


We went to church on Sunday in my home ward, which was what I was really dreading. Everyone stared. I tried to keep everything low-key, but the stares were unavoidable. We were holding hands, AND he put his arm around me. Imagine the madness. Then, of course, Brother Silvester, who I had warned Landon about, sat in front of us. He said, and I quote, "Hey there, Landon, nice to meet you. Julie, what would you say about Landon and I going to the desert. I could bring my gun, and I could return alone..." (Insert death stare here). Brother Silvester, watched me grow up, awkwardly explained to me what the law of chastity was when I was 12 (I stupidly didn't know that word, and he gave me the definition). Yup, this was just another Brother Silvester quote wall moment.

The weekend ended way too soon. I took him to my friend Scott's farewell party as he was about to go on his mission. He met all my high school friends and did great with them. We held hands in front of these friends, including in front of guys I had dated before, but I didn't care. It was all about Landon. He finally had to go, we kissed goodbye, and he made the trek home to Utah. I cried on the drive home.

Landon and I continued our long distance relationship. Our phone calls would start after we got ready for bed and would continue into the early morning. One night he was telling me how much he missed me, and I got the guts to ask a question I had been wanting to ask for a while.

"If you miss me, why didn't you ask me to stay?"
"What?"
"When I said I was going to go home for the summer, you just said okay. You didn't even ask me to stay."
"I didn't know you wanted me to. Of course I wanted you to stay. You just seemed so determined in your decision. I didn't think you wanted to stay!"
"Of course I wanted to stay! I was giving you the perfect opportunity."
"So you would have stayed if I had asked you to?"
"I would have tried to work it out."
"Wow."
"Yeah, wow."

I felt so much better. I had been kind of confused by the fact he hadn't tried to keep me that summer, but I soon learned the long distance was great for us. Don't get me wrong; the summer was awful. I missed him like crazy, but we had some great conversations that helped us really get to know each other really well, maybe better than if we had been together.

Here's an exerpt from my journal:

"May 6: I know it seems super serious but I don’t really think of us that way. It’s not like we’ve said the L word or discussed the future in any way. It’s tricky; he’s incredible, and I’m 19 and he’s almost 22. We are young, and I don’t know where I want it to go exactly. All my friends are in love with him, he’s great with meeting people and making friends with my friends which is absolutely great. Everyone loves him, and I guess I just gotta pray really hard for the next little while.”

I always started talking to Landon on the phone sitting up in bed, but as I got more tired, I would slowly lay down, and sometimes talk with my eyes closed by the end. On a night where I was especially tired, Landon said,

"I need to tell you something. I've been thinking about it for a long time now."
"Yeah?" (Insert yawn here).
"I think I'm falling in love with you."

I jumped. I was no longer tired. It came out of nowhere. He didn't say he was IN love, but it sounded like we were going that way. I literally grabbed my stomach, I was so nervous/twitterpated/excited/terrified. I didn't know what this would mean for us, but it definitely was a springboard to our more serious conversations.